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Marrying a non-Christian |
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Question: I am Russian Orthodox and attended Greek Orthodox Churches since my earliest years. When I went to a priest who did not know me very well, I told him my desire to marry a non-Christian man. He asked me not to make plans until he was able to speak to my fiance. We went to him and it was clear to him my fiance was unfamiliar with Orthodoxy. They spoke to each other privately, while I waited outside. The priest then informed me that it was my choice to marry him even if it wasn't in the Church. However, if I did, I would be viewed as being ex-communicated. This hurt deeply. I happen to love the Lord more than I can describe, He is my life. Was the priest right to say I am no longer part of the Church because I chose to marry? Is it not true that they cannot forbid marriage? I understand the strain of marrying a non-Christian, but believe that by my actions and life, I may have an opportunity through Christ to win him over by the grace of God. Can a priest pass judgement on my heart? Does he do this to his own possible detriment? |
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Answer:
Very Rev. Ihor Kutash kutash@unicorne.org
Your Pastor may have been using the more
austere way of interpreting Church canons. This way is called
"akribeia". The other way is "ekonomeia" - a relaxation of a canon to
achieve the best results for the salvation of souls. No Pastor is
constrained to use the latter way. If every Pastor did then the
standards would change - in some cases tragically so.
It may be quite difficult for you to
realize your intentions of having a home in which the Church is honoured
and celebrated, when your partner is a non-believer in the Church. Your
Pastor does well to make you aware of this problem. He did say,
however, that you were free to marry this man.
He also said he would consider you
excommunicated at that time. This excommunication would possibly be
temporary - it would mean that for a certain time you would be asked to
abstain from the Eucharist. This is a hardship to people who receive
this Blessed Mystery frequently. On the other hand, I know many in
mixed marriages, in which the Orthodox partner continues to receive
Communion. Pastors do have lee-way in this matter.
There are traditions in Orthodoxy as
regards marriage. There are articles on this theme published on this
website. Please look them up.
As for the state of the soul of this
Priest - it is known only by God Himself. He does seem to be
conscientious. I believe you should not cast aside your engagement
simply because your fiance does not seem to be interested in your
Church. But this is a good opportunity to test the quality of your
commitment to this up-coming marriage. Once you have entered it,
backing out ought not to be a consideration.
May the Lord Who calls us to be faithful
bless you and help you to choose wisely and consistently.
Please see summary of articles on marriage on this site.
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Ukrainian Orthodoxy |
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