Civil Marriages

Question: 

How does the Orthodox Church view civil marriage of an Orthodox man and women?  While they are not considered married within the Church, do the individuals remain in good standing?

Very Rev. Ihor Kutash kutash@unicorne.org 

We might perhaps say that their marriage lacks something special which it could receive, if they did as their Faith (you said they were Orthodox) guides and they took it to be celebrated as a Mystery in the Temple.

If they do not do this when they might have done so (unless they are trying to avoid persecution as in the former USSR) then they are falling short of what they are called to do.  A celebration of the Mystery would be a blessing and a proclamation not only to themselves but to the rest of the Church as well - yes, and even to the cosmos! 

But not only a celebration of the Mystery but a living out of its wonderful message: of the union of a male and female (the order is interchangeable) in such love and self-offering that the two become one while at the same time remaining two.  They are called to do a wonderful and marvelous thing by their daily lives as a two-in-one and one-in-two. 

And in fact the celebration of the Mystery makes of this even a trinity, for God is the third Partner and continually works with them to bring about the fulfilment of this joy and this blessing.

But if they do not marry in the Church but only civilly - this is still not at all the same as being "unmarried".  There shall always be a special relationship between them - for all eternity.  And the vocation is the same. 

The celebration of the Mystery is not to create or ratify something that would otherwise not exist - it is to enhance and aid in the transfiguration to which every human person is called.  This would even hold if there were no civil marriage but simply a living together with the intention of being partners.

It is better if there is a civil marriage between such people - and even better if there is a celebration of the Mystery.  But these must be lived out in the sacrificial, loving, respectful, other-affirming daily life that is the soul of a true Marriage.  (In keeping with the revelation related in the Bible and otherwise in the Church we Orthodox proclaim that this must be a partnership between a female and a male - notice that I just inverted the order?)

In light of that, what do you think?  Are these two people (of whom we speak theoretically) in good standing or not?  I would say they are not - and would hasten to add that all of us are deficient in various ways and that repentance and growth in virtue are always possible. 

And the Lord holds that road ever open by His Precious Cross by which His solidarity with sinful, suffering, dying humanity is perfected - and we CAN come to Him by this road and grow to be holy and perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect.

Ukrainian Orthodoxy