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Answer:
Dr. Alexander Roman
alex@unicorne.org
The entire Orthodox Christian Church follows
the custom of praying intensely for the repose of the soul of one departed
for forty days following his or her death.
Special Canons and prayers are said immediately following death and
requiem services are held for three days and until the day of the funeral
which is ideally on the third day following death to signify the
Resurrection of Christ on the third day.
Divine Liturgy is celebrated on the third day, the day of the funeral for
the repose of the soul and it is customary to invite those attending to a
common agape or luncheon afterwards.
Traditionally, the psalms are read by someone during the sobre mood that
should permeate the agape with a picture of the person who has reposed
flanked by lit candles.
Psalm 118/119 is especially read since it is a hymn in honour of the Law
of God which only Christ perfectly kept. By reading it, we are praying
that the person who has died live in Christ Who is our Perfection and
justification before God.
Today, the Churches of Ukraine and Russia have forbidden the use of
alcoholic beverages for such funeral luncheons - I understand that since
the temptation to unseemly drunkenness is so great, the entire tradition
of a funeral luncheon was also ordered dropped, even by the Ukrainian
Greek-Catholic Church.
Family members dedicate themselves to reading the Psalms and other requiem
prayers for the forty days, as much as they can. The name of the reposed
is commemorated daily for forty days in Church at the Divine Liturgy.
On the ninth day, a Divine Liturgy is attended by the family and friends
in honour of the nine choirs of Holy Angels, the guardians of the soul in
its immediate wanderings after death.
The fortieth day, according to the visions of St Macarius of Alexandria on
which the Church bases this tradition, is the day when the soul is
assigned a place by God Himself until the Second Coming of Christ, either
in the forecourt of Heaven or of Hell.
But nothing is permanent until the Second Coming of our Lord and our
prayer and the prayer of the Church can help bring the soul closer to God
and Christ. This is why we pray for the souls of our reposed family and
friends throughout our lives and why the Church prays so assiduously for
them as well.
On this day, a special Divine Liturgy is served as on the day of the
funeral and the attendants are invited to partake of an agape as well.
Sometimes such an agape will indeed take place at the cemetery and food
items will be placed in the ground of the grave itself as if to bring the
reposed, who is alive in Christ as we firmly hope, to join us in our meal
of gladness and joy that proclaims our faith in eternal life.
This custom is also followed at Easter time when people gather at
cemeteries (ie. the Christian name for "gravesite" which simply means
"sleeping place") and share a common agape-meal where they will often push
a blessed Paschal Egg into the ground of the graves of their loved ones
and will even say to them, facing the graves, "Christ is Risen!"
During the three "Holy Suppers" of the Nativity Season, a special place at
the table is left empty for the reposed, who we believe join us in spirit
at those times, with a candle tied with a black ribbon.
>From the earliest days, Christians also followed, and many Orthodox
Christians still do, especially in monasteries, the Apostolic custom of
leaving an empty place at their daily supper table for Christ and His
Mother by means of a special bread called a "Panaghia" or "All Holy" which
is cut cross-wise and shared with wine, calling to mind the Holy
Eucharist.
As for pouring wine onto a gravesite, I don't see how that can be
disrespectful at all since the wine, like the bread and the egg, has a
religious, Eucharistic symbolic meaning.
The attending the gravesite in East Slavic cultures is certainly a
carry-over from pre-Christian times,as is the Icon Corner and other
traditions that have been given a renewed Christian meaning.
Please see a
summary of articles on
the subject on this web site.
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