Friend in Mourning

Question: 

My dear friend, who is Russian Orthodox, recently lost her Mother.  I know there are certain traditions she is following, and she mentioned something about marking the death of her Mother at 30 days, 90 days and one year.  Can you please provide me with any information relative to the traditional Russian Orthodox mourning period?  My friend, as well as her mother, were from the former Soviet state of Georgia.

The *Church* does not prescribe any period of mourning.  Our attitude towards the "loss" of someone (we do not believe we have really lost them for we are all in Christ, who is the "Lord of the living and of the dead") is one of bright sadness just as Lent is described.  We are sad because we are for a time unable to see, hear or touch them.  But it is a bright sadness because we commend them to God and believe we *shall* see them again.  The commemorations of the reposed are: on the ninth day (three times three - the number of Trinity - which reminds us of the eternal, unbroken communion of the Godhead - a communion into which we are also integrated through the Incarnation, Passion, Resurrection and Ascension of our Lord); the fortieth day - because that is the day Jesus ascended to heaven - and each Christian is identified with Him  in baptism and christmation; and then on each anniversary. To these Church observances, people have added their own with regard to mourning, commemoration and so on - the Christian lives in a *human* community.  It would be difficult to comment on each one of these local customs and commemorations.  I hope the above has nonetheless been helpful.

Very Rev. Ihor Kutash kutash@unicorne.org